[New Zealand Hearald by Karen Abplanalp] In the only women's refuge in the Solomons, two childhood friends reveal a secret hidden for more than 40 years. Ruth (not her real name) describes her shame at hiding the truth. Of having to lie about the beatings, destruction of her property and the psychological abuse she suffered at the hands of her husband and, later, her eldest son.

Her friend Leoni (also not her real name) is stunned to hear it. She too suffered similar abuse and has lived with the shame of lying to work collegues and her community for most of her life. They lied because talking about violence even among friends is taboo in the Solomons.

Witnessing these powerful women tell their stories is deeply moving. Their eyes fill with quiet tears as they describe their secret life of abuse. They are tears of deep sadness but also of relief at finally hearing each others' stories.

There is a feeling of huge respect in the room. Despite the abuse and bearing it in silence, these women got their children through school (school fees are a huge burden for Solomon Island parents), had careers and both went on to run highly successful businesses.

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