The last time Natalie Collins’ husband beat her she ended up in a hospital where her son was born three months premature. Natalie remained with her violent partner for as long as she could, all the time wrestling with Biblical interpretations of marriage, divorce and forgiveness. But after her child was born, she left and filed for divorce.
“I am from a Christian family and although my faith is one of the reasons I am a healed and whole person, it was also one of the reasons I felt unable to leave my abusive ex-husband,” she explained. “I believed I needed to forgive him and that if I just prayed hard enough, he would stop hurting me. “It was only after I escaped the abuse that I learned God did not require me to continue being abused. I learned that Jesus stood up for women who were outcasts; they were abused and broken and yet he restored them and transformed their lives.
“This needs to be talked about and what forgiveness means needs to be explained because people don’t realise that it is not being a doormat. Sometimes the only answer churches give women is an offer to pray for them or counsel the abusive partner, an action which could create even more problems.”
Such violence against women takes place every day in every country of the world. Despite its supposedly prophetic mandate, the Church has not always been the first to speak out against it. And when God’s people stay silent, the silence is profound. Ann Glenesk, Glasgow Diocesan President of the Mothers’ Union recently wrote in the Scottish Episcopal Church’s Inspires magazine: “The historical reluctance of people of faith to acknowledge and speak out against the horror of domestic abuse has compounded the offence by leaving survivors isolated, protecting perpetrators and impairing healing.”
According to UNIFEM’s Say NO – UNiTE to End Violence against Women initiative, between 15 to 76 per cent of women experience physical or sexual violence from men in their lifetime – the majority by husbands, intimate partners or someone they know. It takes many forms and occurs in many places – domestic violence in the home, sexual abuse of girls in or travelling to school, sexual harassment at work, rape by husbands or strangers, in refugee camps or as a tactic of war.
The good news is that, over the past few years, there has been an increasing commitment from the Anglican Communion to end such violence against women and girls. Australia’s Diocese of Melbourne has a Stop Violence Against Women project. The Church in Wales recently co-hosted a conference on the issue and the Church of England has clear guidelines about preventing and addressing it. In India the church has run workshops for schoolgirls to give them a basic understanding of laws relating to the protection of women and the process of law.
The Archbishop and bishops of Southern Africa have publicly committed to supporting their churches’ gender work. In Rwanda, Burundi and Congo, where sexual violence as a weapon of terror has continued long after the signing of peace treaties, the Anglican churches have gathered other church and faith leaders, government representatives, non-governmental agencies and United Nations bodies to work together to end to violence and abuse against women and girls. The Anglican Communion’s Women’s Desk Officer the Revd Terrie Robinson said this growing movement can be seen at all levels, from grassroots to senior leadership: “At the last Primates’ Meeting in Ireland, the Primates committed themselves to action and wrote to churches of the Communion urging them to work towards restoring right relationship between men and women, boys and girls.
“Resolutions have been adopted by bishops at the Lambeth Conference and the Anglican Consultative Council. Networks such as the International Anglican Women’s Network and the International Anglican Family Network have raised up concerns about gender-based and home-based violence; the Family Network has facilitated regional consultations on Violence and the Family for Anglican practitioners and has even produced a model action plan which they have offered to all the churches.”
She added that there are “many examples of brave and creative work going on in dioceses and parishes around the Communion”.
Some of this work is helping men change their attitudes to women and getting them to speak out against abuse too. In the Democratic Republic of Congo one project, started by the now Bishop of North Kivu Diocese, the Rt Revd Muhindo Isesomo, saw his ministry group travelling from army camp to army camp preaching the Gospel to soldiers. Bishop Muhindo’s twin goals were sharing God’s Word and ending rape.
“The [sermon] theme I was using was ‘Are you a problem, or a solution?’” he explained. “The results were very very fruitful.” In under two years, 15,000 soldiers had heard the Word of God, 13,000 responded and repented publicly of raping women and looting local communities. Natalie Collins is now employed by Christian alliance group Restored that works to end violence again women. She told the recent Church in Wales conference: “Violence, aggression and bullying, especially in relationships that should be characterised by love and care, are particularly horrible violations of the Christian principles of love and freedom from fear, and undermine personal and spiritual wholeness as well as personal safety, respect and self-esteem.
“We want churches to send out the message that women can come forward and will be taken seriously and given the support they need.”
It sounds like more and more churches of the Anglican Communion are doing just that.
(First published in Anglican World Issue 129 Available at http://shop.anglicancommunion.org/)